Sleepless nights. Nightmares and near-depression that almost led to quiting football.That is how young Harambee Stars goalkeeper Brian Bwire recalls the aftermath of what met him following his howler back in November last year in a 2022 Qatar World Cup qualifier away to Uganda.Victory was certainly in Kenya’s sight in that match. Lethal striker Michael Olunga had sneaked in the back post and nodded in a delicious Kenneth Muguna free kick to give Kenya a 0-1 lead in the 62nd minute against the eternal rivals at St. Mary’s Stadium in Kitende.Bwire howler gifts Uganda cranes:Uganda 1-1 Kenya. Keeper Bwire last minute blunder earns Uganda a draw #Tonight pic.twitter.com/9SEhyyxyiN— Citizen TV Kenya (@citizentvkenya) November 11, 2021 Good game management then put Kenya on its way to the first victory in the pool after two draws and two losses in the opening four Group E games. That however was not to be.On the 89th minute, an innocuous ball landed in Kenya’s box that many a people would have expected Bwire to smother easily.In the normal footballing act of time wasting, the goalkeeper brought the ball under his spell with a cute chested control, turned to his right – which was across the face of goal – and dribbled slowly with the aim of picking the ball up before Uganda’s Fahad Bayo closed him down.What happened next from there is a moment the custodian, currently plying his trade at reigning champions Tusker, says he will never forget.Brian Bwire with a school boy error to gift Uganda an equaliser 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/sdIIWO8OIG— Jeff Kinyanjui (@_JeffKinyanjui) November 11, 2021 For a ball that looked firmly under Bwire’s control, Bayo managed to beat the Kenyan shotstopper to it as he equalized for his side and rescued a point. Bwire’s cries of a foul fell on deaf ears.How he wished the criticism that followed immediately after followed in the same stead.“That moment almost, almost ruined my whole career,” Bwire opens up to Mozzart Sport.“It is the worst moment I have ever been through my whole entire life. It dragged me to my lowest and to a point that giving up football was all that was on my mind,” the 22 year old states.While the team was still in Uganda preparing to come back home, the relentless attacks from keyboard warriors on social media platforms kept trickling in, unrelentingly.It was only Bwire’ second game after he had been handed his national team debut against Mali, at Nyayo National Stadium, a month before the Uganda encounter. The former Kariobangi Sharks player did not know how to cope as he recalls.“The criticism I received after the game was out of this world and I did not know how to face it. I never expected something like that to happen to me. It got to a time that I did not know what to do to get myself out of what I felt,” Bwire reminisces amidst balancing tears.With his self-deprecating tendency already a blow, the online criticism exacerbated the situation to unparalleled levels. A nightmare that he did not think he would face.Voices from all over called him a match fixer. That he intentionally knew what he was doing all along. That he needed to be investigated and charged. Put behind bars even and never given a chance to play for the national team again. It all came crushing down on him as depression engulfed him.During the tough moment though, Bwire, who had now been turned into a punching bag, remembers a rare sight of open arms that held him from sinking into the dark hole he was willing to throw himself into as former Harambee Stars captain Victor Wanyama and experienced goalkeeper Arnold Origi reached out to him, a moment that proved to be invaluable after how things had panned out.“I remember the first person to reach out to me afterwards was Victor Wanyama. Then Arnold Origi. I think their encouragement is what helped me during the time. They called me and talked to me about the situation. I am really grateful for them as well as some senior national team players who consoled me,” the player reveals.What followed for Bwire was a slow process of getting back up with reality sinking in and life having to move on. Everything he had known before had gone down the drain. And so he had to start afresh. On his own.“Football is something I love so I had to, one way or another, get myself out of the situation despite it being the worst moment of my career. I had to relax and I started focusing my mind on other things that shifted my attention from that moment. ##NAJAVA_MECA_6606302##I did a lot of encouragement and speaking to myself just to focus on working hard and getting over that incident. Mistakes happen in football I know but I promised myself never to make an easy mistake like that. It is what motivated me to get back on my feet and to work even harder,” the goalkeeper says.Through it all, Bwire felt how fast things can change. A goalkeeper that had been touted as ‘Kenya 1’ for the foreseeable future being flogged in the trenches without an ounce of attention paid to his feelings. What happened? He quickly realized how the world is a cruel place.Gor Mahia in hot water as player heads to FIFA, demands millionsBut it all prepared him for whatever comes next.“I am now ready for anything that comes my way. It developed my character as a player and as a person,” the player concludes the touching experience.
